merchaydeez

I am alright again. I'm going back and forth about how I feel.

Do I like myself? Am I optimistc? Will I try?

The turth is: I'm still not sure.

I have very contradicting wants/needs/etc.

I am horribly pessimistic at the same time I fantasize about large possibilities with great optimism (almost as if they're already real)

I want to get school done, but I hate school and I do it very slowly.

I don't want to live to face the bad stuff, but I want to live.

I'm thinking and rething therapy.

Honestly, I just want to just take a pill and become normal/happy/stress-free.

For now, I distract myself with the following:

I can't help myself.

A good romance is the number one thing to get out of reality and dream like a little teenage girl again.

So... thank you, Twilight for coming out onto DVD so fast - otherwise I'd be asleep. Like I should be.

Does it matter that I'm awake? not really.

Number one bad thing about Twilight: It is ruining the expectations of little girls. It's like porn: guys expect women to be sexual deviants with ultimate perfect bodies. Twilight makes girls expect a perfect man to willingly die and practically be a slave for them. Well... I guess w00t for Twilight porn(?). For god's sake... I'm seriously dying for some man right. BTW: Couldn't help to put William Beckett up. (he will always distract me)

Hope for a hope for me. Please?

I wait for a large change in my life (- saddened I say "wait".)